Day 38 started well.
My morning felt calm, my energy steady, and my intentions clear. But somewhere in the middle of the day, something shifted.
A behaviour from someone close to me made me feel unexpectedly alone. Not angry – just unseen. And in that moment, a hard realisation surfaced:
sometimes, no matter how much inner work you do, people may still disappoint you.
🤍 Choosing Silence Over Reaction
Earlier in my journey, I might have reacted – explained myself, defended my feelings, or allowed a conflict to grow.
But today, I chose silence.
Not because I was weak.
Not because I agreed.
But because I didn’t want to create a fight.
I stayed quiet and observed my emotions instead of expressing them impulsively. I don’t know yet if that was the “right” choice – but it was the most peaceful one at that moment.
🧠 Sitting With the Feeling
I didn’t feel like doing anything afterward.
No motivation.
No energy.
Instead of forcing positivity, I allowed myself to ask:
Why does this feel heavy? Why does this hurt?
And the answer was simple and uncomfortable:
self-respect has to come before expectations.
You can love deeply, show up fully, and still feel alone. That’s when you learn the most important lesson – you have to be there for yourself first.
🎄 Finding Light Later in the Day
Later, we went out for Christmas celebrations.
I didn’t pretend everything was perfect, but I allowed myself to shift focus – to breathe, to observe, to be present.
Sometimes letting go doesn’t happen instantly.
Sometimes it happens when you gently place your attention somewhere else.
The noise, lights, and festive energy helped lift my mood. For a while, my thoughts softened.
🙏 Gratitude for Letting Go
By the end of the day, I felt thankful – not because the day was easy, but because I didn’t let it turn into chaos.
I’m grateful that I:
didn’t react impulsively protected my peace recognised my emotions chose awareness over argument allowed unnecessary thoughts to pass
✨ Closing Reflection
Day 38 reminded me that mindfulness doesn’t mean you won’t feel hurt.
It means you notice it, honour it, and don’t let it control you.
Learning to let go takes time.
Learning to choose yourself takes courage.
And today, even in silence, I chose myself.
Unfiltered thoughts by Anu 